


Blazing Fires (Or Lack Thereof)

by lightsgodown



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-15
Updated: 2013-03-15
Packaged: 2017-12-05 08:51:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/721191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lightsgodown/pseuds/lightsgodown
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Human emotion makes no sense to Castiel, so he turns to the library for help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Blazing Fires (Or Lack Thereof)

Castiel doesn’t really understand the feeling that pumps through his veins when he thinks about all the women who make advances on Dean so often. It’s strange, this sort of… 

Well, he thinks the humans call it jealousy. Cas still isn’t sure about all these “emotions” humans have; their constant state of one form of discontent or another. He read about it once, in some strange novel the featured a shirtless man on the cover wearing a cowboy hat that he picked up out of restlessness during one of the many days spent with Sam in the library.

The novel described “jealousy” as an intense longing, a desire that flowed through the character’s very soul. “It was a need,” the author wrote, “that overcame every thought she had. Every waking moment was spent thinking of him, and a fire akin to a burning building lit in her heart whenever he spoke with another woman.”

Castiel supposed that the author was not lying or overdramatizing the truth, and so with that definition he began to examine his own thoughts.

He sat alone in the back of the Impala. Dean and Sam were asleep in their motel room, not far away, but Cas always preferred the worn leather backseat of the car to any hotel mattress full of broken springs.

They were in Nevada somewhere, trailing a werewolf, the Winchesters thought. While Sam was in the library earlier that day looking up endless medical records, Cas had grown tired of his book. Also, a portly woman with smallish eyes had kept giving him strange looks, as though he should not have been reading that particular volume. So he set it back on its shelf, and just for a moment, winged his way from the library to the coroner’s office. Just to check on Dean, ensure that he was all right.

His intention had been to speak with Dean for a moment, perhaps tell the hunter about the book he had been reading. Dean would never let Sam see him in the act, but Cas knew what a voracious reader he truly was. Every chance he got, Dean was poring over some book or other. Castiel thought that perhaps he might be interested in this one.

But when Cas arrived to the mortuary, he found Dean speaking in a low, gravelly voice to the redheaded woman in a white lab coat who worked there. Cas knew, by the smirk in Dean’s eyes and the tone in his voice, that he found this woman to be attractive. He supposed that Dean was “flirting” with her.

A little taken aback by this, Castiel remained invisible to Dean and the woman. He watched for a moment while she wrote a combination of numbers on the back of his hand with a marker - a phone number. When his stomach starting churning the slightest bit, he shifted back to the library and went to assist Sam.

Cas stroked the cracked leather of the Impala’s backseat thoughtfully now. By human time, it was two o’clock in the morning, but of course angels don’t need sleep.

The image of Dean smiling that odd half-smile and the red-haired woman wouldn’t leave his mind. No matter what he tried to focus his thoughts, it would not go away. He tried praying, meditating, even reciting poetry in Enochian. Nothing worked. 

This didn’t feel like a blazing fire like in the novel, though. It was more like a quiet discomfort, an itch in his mind that he could not scratch. Castiel thought it certainly couldn’t be jealousy then.

But maybe he should go read some more of that book, just to be sure.


End file.
